whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
