then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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