it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my being single is dangerous.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
