Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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