ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize