Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
