no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
