It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
