hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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