kristin has been a bad kristin
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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