I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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