win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
