physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
