I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
