do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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