I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
