I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
