Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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