I want to make a zoo with you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
