Fuck appropriateness.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
