There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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