it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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