dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
