Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize