Non-Jews are for practice
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
