Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
