I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
