He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
