We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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