Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize