pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
