Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
