8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
