So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
