Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
