WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
