Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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