If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
