its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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