Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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