just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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