she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
