just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
40s are totally the cure
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
