He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
