Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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