Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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