More tranny stories later!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
