Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
