I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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