Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
