If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
