ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
