9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We left an ass print on the piano.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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