Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
