im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
