Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
