nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
