Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize