Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
