He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize