Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
a search helicopter?!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
