dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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