i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
