when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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