I want to stick my p in your. b.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
