Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
