btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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