the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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