Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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