I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
