considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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